When I was lying on the floor the other night, thinking "hmmm, this is what it would feel like if I collapsed and was about to die", my reasons for sticking around became very clear.

Of course I wouldn't want to leave my husband and family and friends, but they are all adults and they would cope, although I hope they might be a bit sad.

However, I still have a lot to do with my children before I'm ready to leave them, especially little Bright Eyes. They are my ongoing work in progress.

I also thought of another young person who I would have trouble leaving because I feel very involved in her life and I want to make sure she's alright in the future.

Interestingly, though, I also thought, "I can't go - I haven't written my books yet." None of my other career aspirations came to mind (and there have been a number over the years) so the writing is obviously a strong push. I told my husband this and he said, "Well, you'd better get on and write them then, hadn't you!"